ALABASTER FLASK

Today is the day of my first ever book signing. I am super excited. And I feel under-prepared. And I'm nervous. What if nobody shows up? What if a bazillion people show up?

I love meeting new people. But for this quiet, introverted home-body, "putting on my extrovert" is always a little scary. How do you prepare for something scary?

Thankfully, I have a Father who knows my weaknesses and fears, and who loves me so very much that He himself is smoothing the path ahead of me.

Last night, towards the end of his sermon on Job 1:9-12, Brother Billy read the last several verses of Romans 8. Job, you see, was God's man - just like I am God's woman. And Satan, Job's adversary, was very interested in taking him down. What do I need to remember, when I am facing scary things? nasty things? unsettling things? I need to remember...

That nothing can separate me from the love of God. Not my insecurities. Not my fears. Not my weakness. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. (If you, too, need to be reminded of this truth today, go read Romans 8:31-39.) In Christ, I am loved and I am eternally safe.

God spoke such beautiful, strengthening words to me - again! - last night, timely comfort to soothe away my rising anxiety.

Helen, she scrounged around in my closet yesterday among my ratty t-shirts and too tight blouses, and she put together an amazing outfit for me to wear to meet the public. Dressing for any kind of "event" majorly stresses me, because I just don't have much to work with - but Helen, she did some kind of magic, and, amazingly, I feel dressed for the part I will have to play later this evening.

God told me He loved me, and He clothed me in purple - literally.

I've begun working out at a small fitness studio on Troy recently. This morning, I attended my first "Gentle Vinyasa Yoga" class. I love yoga, and I had really wanted to attend this class last week - however, circumstances prevented me. God prevented me. Because He knew that today - today, the day of the book signing - was the day I needed to first enjoy this class. Stretching, breathing deeply, quiet music...everything orchestrated specifically to speak peace.

At the end of the class/practice, as the group of ladies lay quietly on the hardwood floor relaxing tense muscles and breathing slowly, our instructor, Erica, came around to each one of us. She stretched and pressed the last dregs of tension out of my shoulders. She stretched my neck and spine. Athen, as I lay there in the silence with eyes closed, Erica rubbed this amazing ginger-scented lotion into the back of my neck and the base of my head.

I immediately thought of the woman who anointed Jesus, who broke open the alabaster flask and poured expensive ointment of pure nard over his head and feet (Mark 14:3-9). Some around Jesus were shocked that Jesus would allow such a sinful, worldly woman to touch him. Others were disgusted by the extravagance - wouldn't the value of the perfume have been better spent on helping the poor?

As I lay there, I got to thinking how we are all like that woman - sinful, broken, weak, sometimes even despised and ridiculed by others. And we are all like that expensive perfume, bottled in alabaster flasks - we are the extravagance of God's love, to be poured out onto each other, into one another's lives, to anoint and bless the sons and daughters of God.

God told me again last night how very much He loves me. He dressed me in purple. And He anointed me with perfume.

Once again, I am overwhelmed by the goodness and sweetness of God's love.

(A good morning to listen to this favorite hymn! - Thou Lovely Source of True Delight)

IF I HAD 100 HOGS...

I heard an old parable once that went something like this...

There were two farmers who lived next door to each other. Over the years, they had helped each other plant and harvest crops, put up hay, and care for livestock. They grew to love each other as brothers, and each was always looking out for the best interests of the other.

One day, as the two farmers stood admiring a new litter of piglets rooting about in the straw in one of the stalls in John's barn, Sam commented on what a fine herd of hogs John would soon be raising.

John nodded. "Yep," he agreed, "God's been real good to me." Then he added, "You know, Sam, if I had a hundred hogs and all your hogs died, I'd give you 50 of mine."

Sam laughed. "But I've only got two hogs, John! Don't you think that'd be a little extravagant, you giving me half your herd - 50 hogs?"

"No," John answered thoughtfully. "You're like a brother to me, Sam, and, if I had a hundred hogs, I'd want to share my wealth with you. I'd give you half."

Sam looked silently at the litter of piglets scampering about the barn stall. "What if you had ten hogs, John? If you had ten hogs, would you give me half then?"

John stiffened and huffed, "That's not a fair question, Sam - you know I actually have ten hogs!" And with that, he turned and stormed out of the barn.

I was reminded of this story recently when a friend was telling me why she couldn't follow through on a commitment she had made. Sally, commendably, had resolved to take the time to get better acquainted with her new neighbor Jane.

"How's it going?" I asked over coffee one morning. "After spending time with Jane, do you feel like you are getting to know her better?"

Sally sighed. "Well, I haven't actually spent any time with Jane...but it's not like I haven't tried!"

"What's been the difficulty?" I asked. "Is Jane too busy to get together? Is she extremely shy? Has she been sick?"

"No, nothing like that," Sally replied. "I thought I'd invite her to a concert at the Performing Arts Center, but the cheapest tickets were nearly $60 - can you believe that?! So I decided to just ask her out for lunch a couple of weeks ago, but I ended up having to buy new sneakers for one of the kids and then I didn't have the money to treat Jane to lunch. Finally, I just figured I'd ask her and her family over for dessert one night, but then I got to thinking - I don't know what kind of food they like, and I don't want to put a lot of work into cooking some fancy dessert just to have them turn their noses up at it!" Sally took a sip of her coffee. "So, anyway, no, my efforts at getting to know Jane better haven't been very productive. It just seems like everything is working against me." She sighed.

"Have you thought about just asking her to take a walk with you around the neighborhood one evening?" I asked.

Sally slammed her mug down on the table. "Well, if you're going to get all snotty with me like that, I can just leave!"

All this to say, sometimes we spend so much time and energy dreaming and talking about what we would do if our circumstances were different (if we had more time, more money, more energy), that we completely neglect to do the little things that we actually can do right now. And while we are blindly letting simple, doable opportunities pass us by, someone like Jane is sitting at home alone, clueless that we've had any thought of her at all.

Don't ask yourself what you would do "if only..."

Ask yourself what you can do, with the resources available to you right now.

Don't wait for a hundred hogs - do what you can do, now.

DAYBREAK

"The night is far gone; the day is at hand..." - Romans 13:12a

Today, the girls and I are going to Jackson to have Martha's wedding dress fitted. Exciting times in Kendallville! Since I will be out of pocket and have zero time for writing (If I'm really a writer, I should be writing, right? This not having time to write has eventually got to stop!) - anyway, as I was saying, since I won't have time to work here at the blog, here is a repost - seemed fitting given the frigid weather we've been having lately. And I just want to say one more time how very much I love Larry and Lisa Ferris, and how grateful I am for their impact on my life - God loved me extravagantly through their ministry.

GO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!
- originally posted January 29, 2010

When Steve and I lived in Nashville, we attended a small church plant in the Old Hickory area. Although I had been a Christian for many years, it was here, under the pastoral care of Larry Ferris and his wife Lisa, that the gospel was first given "flesh". Eighteen years later, I still think of Lisa asking me, on several occasions, "What are the practical implications of the gospel in this situation?" These two, whom I affectionately think of as my Mother and Father in the faith, were active, aggressive, and deliberate about translating what they believed into what they did, in every area of life.

Larry had a gift for coming up with great sermon illustrations. He could make seemingly far-off, abstract concepts suddenly clear and relevant. This particular illustration still comes to my mind often, and always brings with it a thrill of excitement....

You remember how when you were a kid, and the evening weather forecast predicted snow? You hoped against all hope that it would snow and snow and snow all night, maybe even a foot, and that school would be cancelled the next day. You went to bed anxious with anticipation, finding it nearly impossible to sleep. Your ears strained for the faintest sound that would indicate the coveted snow had finally arrived. You sneaked out of bed, peeped out the window - nothing. Finally, exhausted and fearing morning would bring only disappointment, you dozed fitfully off to sleep. And slept, and slept, and slept. Until...

The next morning, Mom came into your room, same as she always did, to wake you up so that you could begin getting ready for school. Only this morning, as she shook you gently from your sleep, she didn't say, "Wake up - time to get ready for school." She simply whispered, "Go look out the window!"

Instantly, you were wide awake, your heart pounding! Throwing off your blankets, you planted your feet on the cold floor and bolted for the window, a jubilant smile plastered across your face. "Go look out the window!" Those words elicited a spasm of pure joy! You danced! You squealed! It was absolutely impossible to conceal the excitement you felt.

Dear Reader - after a long and dreadful night, God, in Christ, has whispered to us, "Go look out the window!"

MUSIC THERAPY

Yesterday was a "running" day - I felt like a locomotive chugging down the track!

School with Helen and work on writing projects in the morning. Feed the chickens, feed the horses, laundry, lunch, then off to pick up Martha at Martin, with a few stops for errands on the way. Zoom! Doctor's appointment, piano lessons, a stop by the florist's. Newspaper office - check. Gas for the van - check. Groceries - check. Zip! Back home, shuttle in the groceries, run out to shut up the hen house, switch over the last load of laundry, start supper. Whoosh!

This Mom job gets pretty hectic sometimes.

Yesterday morning, Helen took a break between her math homework and her reading assignment for history to doodle around on the banjo. While I was working on book stuff, Helen's playing and singing were a gift of soul-soothing music early in a run-run-run kind of day.

A very sweet pause in the midst of the hectic. Have I mentioned lately how very much I am blessed by my children?

THOUGH HE SLAY ME

We're studying through the book of Job on Wednesday nights at Grace. A couple of things struck me during last night's message...

Satan is not some all-powerful evil, warring a touch-&-go battle against God and against God's people. He, too, is subject to the sovereign, all-powerful Creator. In the "courtroom" scene beginning in verse six, a couple of things stand out. First, as Brother Billy pointed out, in the presence of God, Satan does not speak until spoken to. Satan is clearly greatly - infinitely - subordinate to God. Second, Satan is required by God to give an account of what he's been doing. Also, Satan's power is restricted, limited by God himself.

Another thing that jumped out at me as we considered this passage: It was God who singled out Job to be tested. It was God who first brought up the name of Job and asked the question, "Have you considered my servant Job...?" God pointed Job out to Satan - not the other way around.

Peter says this about our adversary: "...the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (Sounds very much like the answer Satan gave in Job 1:7 where he tells God that he has been "going to and fro on the earth and ...walking up and down on it.") Have you ever felt like Satan's hot breath was on your neck, like he was just waiting to spring on you like a lion and tear you limb from limb?

In Zechariah 3:1, the prophet describes this scene:  "Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him." Have you ever felt like that, like Satan is standing right at your elbow, jumping at every opportunity to accuse you, to weigh you down with guilt and shame?

Do you stand accused once again before the judgment seat of our holy God? How then shall we answer our accuser?

What shall we say to these things?

"If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect?" (Are you listening, Satan?!) "It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn?" (Are you listening, Satan?!) "Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us." - Romans 8:31b-34

Are you feeling bloodied and torn, like you are caught in the teeth of a lion?

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels [remember, Satan is a fallen angel] nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:35-39, words in brackets added

I find tremendous comfort in the knowledge that my loving heavenly Father ordains and designs the trials that I must face in this life - it is not Satan, the enemy of my soul, who chooses what hardships I will encounter. If God singles me out to be tested, I can be confident that He is doing so for my good and for His glory.

And I am so grateful that in Romans 8, God gives me a sound defense against my accuser. Romans 8 positively shuts the snake up, drives him from the courtroom.

I do not always understand what God is doing in the trials He sends me, nor do I find them pleasant, and I often do not bear them graciously. But assured of the sovereignty, goodness, and love of God, I agree with Job:  "Though He slay me, I will hope in him."

BOOK SIGNING!

Mark you calendars!

I will be hosting my first ever book signing on Thursday, January 30th, from 5:00 - 7:00 p.m. at the Obion County Library. The library is located at 1221 East Reelfoot Avenue in Union City, Tennessee, right across the street from Baptist Hospital. At 5:30, I will read an excerpt from Slow Sun Rising, and I would love to answer any questions readers have about the book. Copies of the book will be available for purchase for $10 each. Even if you already have a copy of the book, stop by and say, "Hi!" I'd love to see you there!

A LITTLE BIT AWKWARD

Reading through Hometown Magazine, I spotted an ad for two free classes at a local exercise studio. I was curious.

Swimming isn't going to work with the schedule and the finances again this semester, and I've been looking for some way to move my mass around a little more. Some way besides chasing chickens or hauling in firewood.

I called the number on the advertisement.

"How would you describe your fitness level?" the pleasant-sounding lady asked.

"Ummm, average?" I guessed.

"What do you do for exercise?" she pressed.

"Well, I do yoga a couple of times at week at home. Occasionally, I take long walks back on the farm. I used to swim, but I haven't done that for months."

"Tell me more about yourself," she probed. "How old are you? How much do you weigh? How would you describe your overall health?"

I took a deep breath and swallowed. "Um, I'm fifty years old" - no problem getting that out - "and I weigh ..." I coughed. "I weigh...well...let's just say I'm adequately padded."

Can you think of a job requiring more poise and grace than that of a fitness-center employee who must spend her days asking middle-aged women how much they weigh?!

This got me to thinking - there are things that we all know, things that are just part of life, nothing bizarre or shameful - but that are so awkward to verbalize, to just say right out loud. Things like....

"I forgot your name - who did you say you were?"

"Excuse me, you have a piece of spinach on your teeth."

"Your zipper is open."

"I can't remember where I parked the car. Could you help me find it?"

"Where do you stock the Kotex?"

When I was still working at Wal-Mart, one of the young cashiers asked me if I would help her pick out a pregnancy test when we finished our shift. (I guess she thought a woman with seven kids probably had a lot of experience with this sort of thing!) "Sure," I answered. "Is it for you?"

"No," my co-worker replied. "It's for a friend. She's single, and she thinks she may be pregnant, and she's scared to take a test and find out. I told her I was going to get one and bring it to her house and make her take it when I got off work."

Back in the health and personal care department, Mary and I selected a pregnancy test. Then we headed to the front of the store to check out. My friend placed the pregnancy test on the belt. The cashier behind the register hesitated and raised her eyebrows, looking at Mary quizzically.

"Oh, it's not for me!" Mary exclaimed. "No way! This is for Mrs. Camille!"

I smacked Mary, paid for the pregnancy test, and laughed with her all the way to the front door.

What about you, Dear Reader? What simple little things do you find ridiculously difficult to say out loud?