HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN....

I cook toast in the oven, on a large baking sheet. Much easier and quicker to prepare 10 or 12 pieces at a time that way. Which leads me to today's post...

When you fix toast in the oven, how do you know when the toast is done?
It is time to take the toast out of the oven when you hear the smoke alarm go off.
(Ooops, guess I'll start a new pan and try to be more attentive.)

If you have an indoor/outdoor cat, how do you know when it's time to let the cat out?
It is time to let the cat out if you have just finished letting the cat in.
How do you know when to let the cat in?
When you've just finished letting the cat out.

If you are a child in a large family and you notice the housework is getting a little neglected, when is it appropriate to volunteer to sweep and mop the floors for your Mom?
It is appropriate to volunteer to sweep and mop the floors if you are breathing. (This is also true for cleaning toilets, ironing, picking up trash around the house, etc.)

When is it okay for large teenage male children to wrestle in the kitchen?
NEVER!
(Just kidding. This activity is only allowed in the kitchen if Mom is happy to participate in the fray. Love you, my sons!)

You and your husband are on the couch watching a movie while the kids are out for the evening. In celebration of this rare and momentous event, Hubby opened a bottle of wine. You have slowly savored your first glass of wine and are contemplating a refill. How do you know if you should indulge in another glass?
You should have another glass of wine only if there is still wine left in the bottle.

When is it okay to read G.K. Chesterton aloud to the rest of the family, the general public, etc?
Whenever you have G.K. Chesterton at hand.

When do you compliment a stranger at Wal-Mart on her lovely eyes, her fun-&-funky hand-crocheted shawl, or her well-behaved children?
Today.

When is a middle-aged, menopausal, mom-of-many allowed to raid the chocolate stash in the pantry, guilt-free?
Oh, is there still chocolate in the pantry?!