ONE THING I'D LIKE TO CHANGE

I was asked last week during an interview what was one thing I would like to change about myself. That's a doozy of a question! I can think of several things I'd like to change. Some serious: I want to know God and practice His presence more. Some, not-a-big-deal - I want to stop burning the toast. But, sitting there under the gun and having to shoot from the hip, I answered...

I wish that I were better at communicating, at expressing how I feel in such a way that it connects with others. My emotions tend to be deep and quiet, slow to find expression. As my daughter put it, I'm "heavy" - kinda like a black hole. I do not regret that I feel deeply, but I do wish that my feelings worked themselves out into effectual communication with the people around me.

Just as an example: When giving birth to child #4, I opted not to have an epidural. Needles of any kind scare me - the pain of childbirth was preferable to the knowledge that some dude was snaking a long plastic "needle" into my back. Blech!

Anyway, as I moved into transition...for the uninformed, that's the period of labor right before the baby is born, when contractions are hard, fast, and serious - in the overly-sensational movie scenes, it's when the woman starts screaming and swearing and swinging at anybody nearby....

Anyway, as I moved into transition, concentrating on breathing and staying on top of the pain, I commented to Dr. Settles and the attending nurse, "This is really uncomfortable!" I wasn't screaming or cursing, just matter-of-fact-ly stating reality. The nurse absolutely howled with laughter: "Well, I think that's the first time I've ever heard it put that way!"

What about you? What's one thing - serious or silly - that you'd like to change about yourself?