R.I.P.

My first laptop is history.  Dead.  Gone.

I stopped by Computers Direct in Union City yesterday to pick up the body.  "What do you do with a dead computer?" I asked the tech guru as he handed me the remains.

"Well, you can take it to the recycling center, but you'll want to remove the hard drive, first."

"How do I remove the hard drive?"  I was too embarrassed to tell him that I actually had no idea whatsoever what a hard drive was.  I mean, I knew it was kinda like the "brain" of the machine, but I wouldn't have known a hard drive if you'd set one right in front of me.  That was yesterday.  Today, yes, I do know what a hard drive looks like.  I'm getting an education here, folks - woohoo!  My dead hard drive looks a little like a fat, metal cracker.  It's sitting beside me on the kitchen counter at the moment.

Patrick flipped the computer over, gave it a bang and a jerk, and held out the fat metal cracker.  "This is your hard drive."

"What do I do with it?  How do I destroy it?" I examined the disc in my hand.  "Stomp on it?"

"Half-inch drill bit, three holes," he explained matter-of-factly.

I took the fat cracker without blinking.

"Or," he continued, "you could use it for target practice, if you have a high-powered rifle."

I'm afraid of power tools.  Guess I need to borrow a rifle.  Looks like the old laptop gets to go out with a military salute.

R.I.P.