HOLIDAY/HOLY DAY

In honor of the holiday, I prepared a list yesterday afternoon of things to do today:

• Laundry
• Continue cleaning out Mom's closet
• Clean off one more bookshelf in the living room
• Access and review coursework for my next class
• Map out schedule for schoolwork for the semester ahead

These are all things I want to accomplish while I have a little extra time - a day off from work! - but, they don't sound very "holiday," do they?

* * *

A friend asked me recently if I have any hobbies.

"Taking care of dying people," I answered. There really hasn't been time for much else the past several months.

"You need to get a better hobby," she replied.

* * *

Once upon a time, I enjoyed kayaking. Actually, I enjoy many things associated with being near/in/on the water: I am very bouyant, so water feels almost like my natural element.

My son and daughter-in-law introduced me to kayaking a couple of years ago - thank you, Tom and Carly! - but the hobby comes with a few significant obstacles:

1. Same offspring instructed me to never go kayaking alone, and both opportunities to kayak and buddies to paddle with are very rare.
2. Transporting my kayak is problematic: I have a cargo rack on top of my Rav4 and a lovely set of ratchet straps, but I also have crappy shoulders and am unable to actually lift the kayak onto the roof of my car.

This year has been The Year of Doing Hard Things. Yesterday evening, I decided it was time to tackle one more Hard Thing. I did not want to spend my entire day off work...doing work.

I recruited my #2 son to help me figure out a way for his wimpy 62-year-old mother to actually load my kayak. (Thank you, Nate!) We formulated a strategy; Nate demonstrated the technique; the kayak was unloaded from the Rav4, and then I reloaded it ALL BY MYSELF. There was nothing graceful or attractive about the process, and it took a hot minute, but I did eventually get the kayak firmly secured on top of my car without damaging either the kayak or the vehicle. Woot!

Loaded!

I repeated the loading and unloading process two more times this morning: once before I drove to Reelfoot Lake, and then again when I came off the lake after a lovely 2 1/2 - hour paddle.

Do not fear: safety precautions were taken!

• I wore my lifejacket the entire time I was on the lake. (Normally, I sit on it. I have never been anxious about falling out and drowning because I am...well...very bouyant.)
• A family member knew my location the entire time I was out. I let this person know when I got on the lake and when I came off - AND - using the magic of Life360, she even monitored me as I paddled. (Thank you, Abby!)

Abby texted: "This cracks me up!"

Also, because God is so very good to me, he sent me paddle buddies. As I was sliding my kayak down the ramp to the water, a truck drove down to the lake access, pulling a trailer loaded with 3 kayaks. A dad and his two young daughters graciously allowed me to join their party. We paddled and chatted together for over an hour before I thanked them for the company and turned back toward shore.

Today, I am thankful for...

• Kids who help me "figure out a way" when things are hard
• For my friend Hannah, who listened to me cry as I drove to the lake because I don't like doing hard/new/scary things, especially by myself
• For 3 lovely strangers who welcomed me into their family outing (& shared their sunscreen :) )
• For a beautiful lake, a clear blue sky, and a cool breeze over the water
• For a God who sees, cares, and tells me that He loves me, over and over and over again

NEXT TIME, BRAID THE HAIR

It was a Saturday morning back when I was in nursing school, and I was packing up to head to my 12-hour shift at the hospital lab. Minutes before time to leave, my granddaughter Lizzy came downstairs.

Lizzy's family was living with us while they worked on getting a home they had recently bought ready to live in. Over the weeks that we lived under one roof, Lizzy and I developed a morning ritual. While I drank coffee and read my Bible early mornings before school or work, Lizzy joined me with a cup of hot tea and toast. 

These were such sweet mornings together. We chatted and shared our thoughts with one another. And I braided Lizzy's hair.

But on the very last morning, the morning of the day her family was finally moving into their new house, Lizzy slept late. And so, by the time she made it downstairs, it was already time for me to hop in the car and leave for work.

I quickly fixed Lizzy a cup of hot tea and a piece of buttered toast. "Can you braid my hair, Vivi?" she asked.

It broke my heart to tell her no. "I'm sorry, Lizzy, but I can't. I have to go to work, and I'm already leaving a little late." I hugged her, then drove to work with a very heavy heart. I clocked in only seconds before the time clock clicked 7:01.

I walked into the lab break room, hung my jacket in a locker, and pushed my lunch bag into the fridge. Ragan, one of the techs, was already in the break room, starting a pot of coffee.

At Ragan's "Good morning," I lost it. I came completely unglued and sobbed.

"Good grief!" Ragan turned to me with wide eyes. "What on earth is wrong? Sit down!" She pointed empathically at a chair. "Tell me what is going on!"

And so between sobs, I told Ragan that today, my daughter and her family were moving and that when I got home this evening after today's shift, the house would be empty and quiet and unbearably sad. "And Lizzy wanted me to braid her hair, and I didn't have time because I was going to be late for work, and when I get home, she will be gone, and...." More tears.

Ragan listened until all my words and tears were spent. Reaching across the table, she took my hands, looked me in the eyes, and softly said, "Camille, next time, braid the hair. Work can wait. We will manage without you until you get here."

* * * * *

I finished nursing school and went from 18-hour school days and 12-hour weekend work days to a Monday-Friday job that, while incredibly stressful, actually pays pretty well.

My first year as a full-time nurse, I decided I wanted a real, honest-to-goodness vacation. At the beach. Where I could sit and stare at the surf and cry if I wanted and let the rhythm of the waves against the shore pull all the stress out of my neck and shoulders. So I rented a beach house, and I invited all the kids to come if they wanted and could make it. If they couldn't come, that was okay, too.

Several of the kids came, and we all agreed that it was such a good holiday that we needed to do it again.

This week, a year later, we are back at the beach again.

Early morning walks to search for sea shells washed up overnight. Aunties and Uncles milling about the kitchen preparing meals together, cousins building sand castles and splashing in the waves. Tea parties, jigsaw puzzles, and picnics on the porch. Good wine, good conversation, beautiful sunsets, and cool moonlight walks.

And lots and lots of braiding hair.

My heart is overflowing.

TOES

I am less than a week away from a family holiday at the beach: FIVE MORE DAYS.

The past several months have been physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I am counting down the days until I can step away from the stress for a moment and breathe.

My family made this trip the first time last May. We had such a lovely week everyone agreed a repeat was in order.

Last year, I did not get excited about the holiday in the months and weeks leading up to it. I have a long history of deep disappointment, and I was certain something would come up at the last minute to keep me from going.

Something did.

The day before our holiday was to begin, I followed an ambulance taking my mom to a hospital 3 hours from home. Over a a long sleepless night, still wearing the scrubs I'd worn to work the day before, I resigned myself to the fact that - yet again - my hopes of rest were frustrated. I was exhausted, but there was no rest in sight.

Then my younger sister rolled in like the cavalry and took over mom duty: Suzanne showed up at the hospital and ordered me to leave, go home and pack, and enjoy my family for a week. 💖

This year, I have been slightly more optimistic heading into the first full week of May. My youngest created a GoogleDoc for meal planning: I signed up to fix dinner on our first evening at the beach. I've stocked up on snacks. I planned a couple of rainy day activities for the grandkids, just in case. I've pulled out summer clothes to pack. And Saturday, I got my toenails done.

A pedicure is a rare treat for me. Like, maybe once a year? As I relaxed in the oversized armchair, the young man at my feet soaked and trimmed and moisturized and massaged until my tired calloused feet looked and felt brand new.

We chatted as he worked, and watching him work, I thought: "He is like Jesus. This is what Jesus does. Jesus washes feet, cuts away dead skin, restores the broken and weary, gives new energy and hope. And joy, He gives joy, sort of like French Raspberry #066."

I was almost in tears by the time the young man finished. I wanted to say to him, "You are so beautiful, so much like my Jesus" - but I didn't, because I thought that would be weird, and I was afraid he wouldn't understand.

(I am so tired of feeling "weird" - that label is burned so deeply into my soul - and I'm tired of being afraid. My therapist and I are working on that...baby steps.)

Today, I am thankful for gentle hands and a glimpse of Jesus. I am thankful for red toenails. I am thankful for my family. And I am thankful that rest is coming soon.

PTO

I'm sitting here drinking a terrible cup of coffee out of a totally awesome mug, struggling unsuccessfully to shift my brain into writing gear.

Maybe I should just empty the carafe, make a fresh pot of decent coffee, and start again.

I rarely take PTO...paid time off...but my boss recommended it a couple of weeks ago, and so today, I am getting paid to not roll up my odometer between visits where I talk with patients and families about heady stuff like poop, pain, and No, you are not going to get better. 

Instead, on my holiday, I have been doing exciting things like:

• balanced my checkbook
• hauled the trash to the highway
• washed Mom's laundry and changed her sheets
• bought fresh peaches at the produce stand
• dropped off a few items at Goodwill
• delivered freshly baked cupcakes to a friend who helped me with the car purchase over 4 months ago
• washed said car and filled it up with gas
• bought groceries for the week ahead
• took a short nap
• washed my scrubs to get ready for next week
• cleaned off my desk
• emptied and refilled the dishwasher
• and other sundry diversions

It's. Been. Awesome.

You see, I have not yet figured out how to do the whole work full-time, keep on top of housework, run errands in town, feed people, do paperwork, etc. all-at-the-same-time thing. I seriously need a day in between all the other days when I can go to the bank, shop for groceries, and get my oil changed. How do people who work during "normal business hours" do all the things besides work that you can only do during normal business hours? (If you know the answer, please share your secret in the comments - I need help!)

My day off hasn't really been a day off work. It's been a day of doing different work, work that has been long neglected because my usual days "on" sap all my energy and brain cells.

But back to the lousy cup of coffee and my absolute favorite mug...

This mug was a gift from my dear friend Donna (second from right). The group depicted on the mug is a sisterhood that has supported me through the best and the worst of life.

Monday through Thursday of this past week, I put in long, hard days at the paying job. Today, on my day off, I put in a long day at a different job that is just as essential.

And tomorrow?

Tomorrow, I get to spend time with Katherine, Donna, and Teresa.

Tomorrow, not today, will be the much-needed "holiday" that restores my soul.

GOODBYE SHADOWS AND GLORY SUNSHINE

Thanksgiving is behind us, and now we are hurtling headlong toward Christmas.

I don’t know about you, but I had a full house Thanksgiving weekend. Full, as in wall-to-wall air mattresses and pallets on the floor at bedtime. Full, as in take-a-number for a shower in the morning. Full as in “Is this the third pot of coffee we’ve brewed this afternoon, or the fourth?”

I love a house filled with family and friends. I love crowding elbow-to-elbow around the table. I love long conversations over coffee. I love the kitchen weave of many cooks preparing a meal together.

I had a full house for Thanksgiving, and it was awesome.

But then, everybody left.

As Thanksgiving weekend drew to a close, I stood on the front porch and waved goodbye as the last set of red taillights headed down the driveway.

Now, the beds have been remade with fresh linens. The air mattresses are deflated and put away. Floors are vacuumed and swept; mountains of towels, washed and folded; ginormous baking pans, stored until needed for the next family gathering.

The great big chaotic fullness of a family holiday has been replaced by a great big empty quiet. I already miss the conversations on the porch swing, the long walks on the farm, the laughter over dinner, the snuggles on the couch with the grandkids.

I don’t know about you, but for me, the shift from noisy to quiet, from full to empty is a little traumatic.

Perhaps it’s the physical fatigue: a house full of company is a lot of work! Perhaps, like a Sunday-evening child haunted by the thought of Monday-morning school, I am reluctant to return to life-as-usual. Perhaps the noise and chaos distracted me for a season from unpleasant realities in my day-to-day, and now, those realities once again clamor for my attention.

Whatever the reason, post-holiday emptiness and quiet settle over my heart like a shadow, like tears at the end of a beautiful love story.

Don’t you wish the fellowship and feasting could go on and on forever?

This droop in spirits as I transition from a packed-full house to lonely ol’ me at the computer is a gift, though, because it makes me mindful of Glory. It stirs in a me a longing for that day when family and friends will gather together to celebrate…and never have to say Goodbye again.

This goodbye shadow over my heart reminds me that I was created - indeed, all of us were created - for unbroken fellowship with our Creator.

C. S. Lewis, in They Asked for a Paper, put it this way: “A man’s physical hunger does not prove that man will get any bread…But surely a man’s hunger does prove that he comes of a race which repairs its body by eating…

“In the same way, though I do not believe…that my desire for Paradise proves that I shall enjoy it, I think it a pretty good indication that such a thing exists and that some men will.”

The goodbye shadow that comes after time spent with people I love makes me long all the more for that great day when there will be no more goodbyes. So, I’ll take today’s shadow: it points me to the sunshine.

(This is taken from one of my first "Porch Swing Perspective" articles, written just over a year ago. Has it really already been a year? Time flies!)

SUN, SAND, SURF...REST

Melbourne Beach, Florida

Wow! I haven't checked in here at the blog in two whole weeks! I stepped away from writing assignments, laundry, and kitchen duty to enjoy a much-needed break from routine chores and deadlines.

I haven't had a do-what-I-want, when-I-want, at-my-own-pace, kick-back-and-relax vacation in...well, in so long that I can't remember. I figured it was time for a holiday, before stepping into the harness of a new job.

Some people are late bloomers. I am fifty-four years old. This summer, for the first time ever, I planned a vacation: booked lodging, planned transportation, budgeted for meals and gas, the whole she-bang. The entire process was an adventure - and I enjoyed every bit of it!

My youngest son is living near the east coast of Florida this summer, and my youngest daughter (the last chicken at home) has long wanted to experience a beach holiday, so a beach vacation seemed the natural choice. It. Was. Awesome. I understand why folks with the time and the money make annual visits to the coast.

I love the beach. I love the sun, the sand, the sound of the water. I love the people. I love the nothing to do but PAUSE, breathe, rest. I also love swimming. I am very buoyant even in fresh water, but in salt water...well, let me put it this way: if I were an animal, I'd be a manatee.

Sunshine, surf, and good company.

Our second day in Melbourne, we met up with a friend from nearby Orlando for some brain-stimulating conversation and a short road-trip to Vero Beach for sushi.

Sushi date - yum!

Sunday, a day of soul refreshment, worshiping with brothers and sisters at Covenant Presbyterian Church in Melbourne. In the afternoon, a stroll along the boardwalk at Turkey Creek Sanctuary in Palm Bay.

According to Ben, it rains EVERY afternoon.
Should've brought a bigger umbrella!

Monday, the youngest and I packed the car before daybreak and headed to the beach one last time, to watch the sun rise.

Sunrise over Paradise Beach. It amazes me that the God who creates this kind of enormous, powerful, heart-swelling beauty every single morning - that same God knows me and loves me and He hears and answers my prayers.

Finally, with full hearts and refreshed bodies, we turned and headed west toward home.

Today, CATCH UP! Laundry, grocery shopping, writing assignments...but work is a pleasure after such sweet rest. We are both looking forward now to our different jobs and to school. And already, we are planning our next adventure.

PAUSE, PLAY

I feel like somebody hit the Pause button on my brain and then misplaced the remote. Drrrrrrpt. I suspect this brain languor springs from a combination of too much food, too much down time, and too much smoke inhalation. I need some fresh air and exercise!

I am thankful for this mental pause at year's end. Next week, a new calendar goes up on the wall, and with the new calendar, all sorts of crazy-busy will leap out of the starting gate.

But today...rest!

What's new on the 2018 horizon?

A new job.

A new writing schedule.

New classes.

Figuring out a new normal weekly family rhythm.

New opportunities.

Who-knows-what-else...

As Steve and I snuggled on the couch and toasted our toes in front of the fire one evening this past week, we talked about how last Christmas - Christmas a year ago - we could never have predicted the events of the year just past. Absolutely NO WAY.

We also realized: neither of us has any idea, really, what is in store for us in the year ahead. That's a little scary; but mostly, it's exciting. This IS a forward race, after all. Whatever lies behind, whatever lies ahead...the finish line is Glory.

Today, I am savoring the rest and relative stillness as I consider a few of the infinite possibilities tucked within a new year. I don't know about you, but I am excited about the year ahead.

Now, where is that remote?!

* * *

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.- Hebrews 12:1-3

NOT JUST A BABY

A friend commented to me that she thinks people enjoy celebrating Christmas and the birth of baby Jesus so much because not only is it fun, but it is also safe: we are much more comfortable with a cooing baby than we are with Jesus as the Creator and Judge of the world.

We love the story of tiny baby Jesus, wrapped in swaddling clothes, laid in a manger. But while celebrating his advent, we should also be mindful of who Jesus actually was and is, and of what Jesus came to do.

Jesus did not stay a baby.

In light of recent events in our own country and around the world, it is good to remember why Jesus was born and lived among us (Emmanuel - God with us!), and why he died and now lives to intercede for his people.

We are bombarded daily with news of terrorist attacks, school shootings, and hostage situations, and with reports of corruption in government, abuse of the law, gangs, drug abuse, sex trafficking, and missing and abused children.

We read about educational reforms that confound and frustrate teachers and undermine the authority and values of parents.

We are witnesses to a sexual revolution in this country that defies reason and mocks virtue.

We are told the problem is extremism, lax immigration standards, or easy access to firearms. Experts say we need stricter gun control laws, and schools need armed guards and police dogs. Our problems could be fixed with term limits, tolerance, rehabilitation, stricter obscenity laws, more governmnet oversight.

What we are not told - not on national TV, internet news feeds, Facebook, or talk radio - is that the problem is sin. Sin infects every single one of us, whether we shoot up a restaurant or sit quietly on our church pews every Sunday morning.

Our news sources do not tell us that greater than the offenses we commit against each other - murder, rape, kidnapping, abuse, licentiousness, willful ignorance, neglect, bigotry, outrageous foolishness - far greater than all these is the offense of our sin against the holy God who created and sustains us.

We rightly respond with outrage to the latest terrorist attack. But am I as outraged by my own defiance against God's holiness?

The truth is, the jihadist is dead to the things of God; he needs Jesus. The school shooter is not just depressed; he is broken, and he needs Jesus. The angry, out-of-control parent is not just overwhelmed by her circumstances; she is a sinner, and she needs Jesus. The church member who surfs internet porn sites late at night is not just having a weak moment; he is an offense to the holiness of God, and he needs Jesus.

We are all desperate, and we all need a radical salvation. We don't need a sweet little baby: we need a mighty Savior.

A baby in a manger, who grew up and lived a perfect life, the God-man, who died for and who now lives to intercede for sinners, sinners like the terrorist on TV, the Super Bowl pimp, the businessman addicted to porn, the out-of-control mom, the angry teenager, the gay lovers, and me.

No, this baby is not safe. But I invite you to come anyway, come to the manger and see!

[Originally published in the Union City Daily Messenger, December 23, 2015.]

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

One of the ironies of being the mom is that while you are busy with holiday shopping, cooking, caroling, and parties - in the midst of all the festivities - you also have to keep the laundry caught up, the toilets cleaned, and the cat fed. "Holiday" does not mean you get a day off work. It means you get to enjoy a few extra special things while you work.

I'm okay with that. It's part of the job.

You want to know something that really warms my heart, though? It's when others realize that while they are enjoying a break from school or work, Mom is still on the clock - and so they decided to use some of their "holiday" time to make Mom's job a little easier.

Ben cleaned upstairs and vacuumed the landing and the stairs on Saturday. No, I didn't ask him to, but I'm grateful that he did!

Helen and Ben stripped down all the beds this morning so that I could wash sheets. Now, all the beds are freshly remade and ready for holiday visitors.

Helen cooked dinner this evening so that I could use meal-prep time to work on a writing assignment.

The kids have been asking me lately, "What do you want for Christmas, Mom?"

I can't think of a better gift than their willingness to share my workload so that I can share their holiday.

SUMMER VACATION

So, right after writing that I was glad to be back on the blog and that I was looking forward to posting more regularly (see Hello, June!) ...

I fell off the blog map. Completely disappeared. Flat-lined.

Well, so much for good intentions.

Actually, I was on vacation. My annual summer vacation is a week spent mostly in a coffee shop in downtown Martin, Tennessee, while my youngest child attends piano camp at the university.

After dropping Helen off each morning for a day filled with learning and making beautiful music, I headed to The Looking Glass. This was my "office" last week, the table next to the window:

Wonderful coffee, lovely view, soothing background music, pleasant company...and on Fridays, Karen Longacre makes these wonderful Zen bowl salads that she serves for lunch. It was so yummy, wanted to lick my bowl.

(Actually, I did lick my bowl. If you are in Martin on a Friday and are looking for a tasty, healthy lunch, stop by The Looking Glass. It's downtown, on Lindell Street, right across from the Opera House.)

After working all morning at The Looking Glass, I packed up my office and headed to UTM's Elam Center pool. I swim laps five days a week, for one week each year. Love it. This year, I got to swim next to THIS amazing woman:

Mary is now 89 years old, and still swims all four competitive strokes. She can swim further and stronger than I can, although I am only a little over half her age. She is such a sweet, encouraging, positive lady - her smile and friendly conversation each day made swimming laps a treat. Mary truly is an inspiration.

After swimming, I picked up lunch and headed to the Student Center to write some more. A couple of days, I took a break mid-afternoon to enjoy the beautiful weather and walk around the lake at the Martin Recreation Complex.

Although I did not show up here at the blog last week, I did a LOT of writing...am now 12 solid chapters into Book #4! I am super excited about this newest writing project, and, with such a good start laid down last week, I am looking forward to continuing writing in the weeks and months ahead.

It may not be a holiday on the beach or a scenic mountain get-away, but I love my summer vacation - it's always one of the best weeks of my year!

LET'S "DID" THIS!

I can't remember when I've met January 1st with such hopeful, optimistic anticipation for the year ahead. I'm thinking 2014 is going to be amazing!

I've put some burdens down - burdens I didn't have the strength to carry and that, honestly, I shouldn't have assumed in the first place. Ahhhhh...feels like a mountain has rolled off my shoulders.

I've accepted a couple of new challenges about which I'm super excited, including a greater commitment to writing. It is such a blessing to have a couple of assignments each day that I wake up looking forward to!

I'm learning new things, and that's exciting, too - learning new things about myself and about the people around me, learning new skills, learning more of the depth and sweetness of God's love for His children.

Lots of folks start off the new year with resolutions, things like reading Scripture daily (do it!), losing weight, exercising more, finishing that half-finished project, etc. We all joke about making resolutions, knowing full well that we will break them in a couple of weeks when the glow of the new year has worn off.

In past years, I've made lots of resolutions...and then broken them. I've made a few resolutions, and then actually kept them. Some years, I don't even think about resolutions. I've never thought New Year's resolutions were that big of a deal or gotten too excited about them.

But this year, I have made a couple of resolutions, things that I actually really want to do, and I can't wait to get started.

I recently read this motivational quip: "Turn 'going to' into 'did'."

Sounds like an awesome plan for 2014!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

The holiday season is upon us. I ran to town early this morning to finish my grocery shopping before the crowds were out. Already, folks were setting up pallets of Black Friday specials in the aisles at Wal-Mart - I'm so thankful I don't have to be there in the midst of the craziness on Thanksgiving Day or the Friday after!

What will I be doing instead of running a cash register at MegaMart? Cooking, eating dinner with my family, washing lots of dishes, and probably taking a nap. If the weather's nice and my feet are feeling happy, maybe I'll even manage a walk on the farm - bet I could even wrangle some of the kids into joining me.

And hopefully I'll get to write. Book #1 is ready to load on Kindle - woohoo! I'm in the middle of the first re-write of Book #2. A third story is already percolating in my brain and is pressing to get out of my head and typed into the computer - if I don't get started on that pretty quickly, my kitchen will soon look like it's been wall-papered in sticky notes. And there is also this poor, neglected blog. I've been having some glitches with the blog the past couple of days and haven't had a solid chunk of time to sit down and try to figure out what I need to do to get it back up to speed.

On the menu for Thursday: turkey and dressing, kale, baked sweet potatoes (I like them plain, with a little salt and lots of butter), cooked apples, fresh cranberry sauce, pickles, yeast rolls, and Polly's pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Afterwards, a good loll in front of the fire, while everything digests. What's your family's traditional Thanksgiving fare?

A few random closing thoughts...

If I feed and water and tend 12 chickens every day, then why did I have to buy 3 dozen eggs at Wal-Mart this morning?

I'm thankful for those of my children who can be here for the holidays, and I reallyreallyreally miss those who can't be home. Love you!

My house is a mess and my floors need to be mopped, but, for some reason, cleaning hasn't made it on my To Do list. And I'm fine with that. :) If you stop by during the weekend, I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything about the floors or the bathrooms. Thank you.

I love listening to Helen play the piano or banjo while I'm working in the kitchen or busy at my computer.

It is very difficult to think about what to have for dinner tonight and what to fix for lunch tomorrow when all I want to think about is cooking Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.

It is also very difficult to do schoolwork when all I want to think about is cooking Thanksgiving dinner - right, Helen?

What's on YOUR mind as you head into the holiday season?

HOLIDAY SHOPPING

When I was shopping at Wal-Mart last Thursday, I reached the front of the store with my cart full of groceries to find only four registers open and about a bajillion customers waiting to check out. I looked for the shortest line and queued up. When only one customer remained between me and my goal of checking out, I noticed that the cashier's light was off, indicating that she was trying to close down her register. Silly me! I backed out of that check-out line and started the waiting game over in a different line.

Another customer, undoubtedly frustrated by the long lines, commented to me, "Well, you'd think she'd at least finish checking out the customers already in her line!"

Which leads to today's post -

I used to work as a cashier at a mega-discount store, and I learned a few things every customer needs to know, especially during the busy holiday season:

That cashier who was trying to shut down her register last Thursday? If she would "at least finish checking out the customers already in her line," she would never leave her register. Never, ever, ever. Got that? As long as she stands there and scans groceries, someone else will be queuing up way down the line of customers. The line doesn't end, people, when you pay your bill and walk out of the store: there will always be another somebody behind you. Got that?

Registers at our local Wal-Mart - and I suspect at most larger chains - are connected to a main computer system that automatically locks the register if a cashier has been working a certain length of time without a break. Why? Because cashiers do feel pressured to take just one more customer - indefinitely - until they've worked way over their scheduled number of hours. Or until they've been standing in the same spot for four and a half hours without a bathroom break. As a cashier, if my register locks up and shuts down, I don't care how much you want me to check you out or if you've only got two items:  there's nothing I can do to help you, even if I stand there and press buttons until I'm blue in the face.

The scene I encountered Thursday afternoon is nothing unusual. Admit it: we have all asked the question, "If they have twenty-three registers, why are only two of them open?" The person checking out your groceries serves an endless stream of customers, most of whom are at least mildly frustrated by the time they reach her because they've been standing in line for 15+ minutes and they're in a hurry.

However, that cashier has zero influence over how many registers are kept open. She has absolutely no control over how long you're going to have to wait in line to check out. She does not choose when she will take a break or close her register. But, when customers reach that cashier, they invariably complain to her that more registers need to be opened, that the lines are too long, that service isn't fast enough, blah, blah, blah. Can you just imagine how edifying it is to stand at a register for five or six or eight hours and listen to this same negative litany over and over and over? You think your cashier is less cheerful than she ought to be? Have you ever thought that maybe there's a reason? (An aside here: if you want to express your frustration over the long lines and a shortage of cashiers, call the store's management department to voice your opinion, instead of griping to the cashier.)

One more note: the cashier checking out your groceries is a human being, created in the image of God. Don't forget that. Instead of standing in line thinking about how irritated you are because you're tired and things are moving so slowly, try to get outside of your own little head and see the situation from a different perspective. Try to imagine what it's like standing on the other side of the register.

In closing, when you go grocery shopping this week, or when you run by Wally World on the way home from work to pick up deodorant and cat litter, or when you finally tackle your Christmas gift list - treat your cashier with courtesy, even if you think you've been standing in line too long. Put away your cell phone. Make eye contact and say "Hello." Try to make pleasant, upbeat small talk. Ask your cashier how her day is going. When she hands you your receipt, tell her "thank you" or that you hope the rest of her shift goes well.

In short, treat your cashier the way you would like to be treated yourself.

You'll both be glad you did!

THANKFUL TREE

My family has a long-standing tradition called the Thankful Tree. November 1st, we make a construction paper tree trunk that we tape to the kitchen wall, and we cut out a bazillion brightly-colored construction paper leaves. Each day, we write on the leaves things for which we are thankful, and then we attach the leaves to the tree. Here is what this year's Thankful Tree looks like, on Day 8 of November.

By the end of the month, the tree will be completely covered with "thankful leaves." There will even be leaves all over the adjacent door and wrapping around the corner into the living area.

A couple of things about this tree: the overwhelming majority of the leaves have written on them the names of people we love. I find it interesting that when we pause to think, "Hmmm, what am I thankful for today?" - what most often comes to mind are the people we have been blessed to know.

Yes, there are some pretty silly things written on leaves, too:  "indoor plumbing," "my washer and dryer," "fire." If Tom were home, there would definitely be a "pizza" leaf, and probably another that said "explosions" or "toilets." It is a good thing to pause and say "thank you" for even the relatively small blessings that we enjoy and often take for granted! At the end of each day, I love looking over the tree to see what new "thankful leaves" members of the family have added.

We have some pretty amazing fall color out on the farm this year, too.

the lane to the back of the farm

I especially love the graceful limbs of the sassafras trees behind the house:

This morning, I am thankful for sunshine. I already have two loads of sheets out on the clothesline - they are going to smell and feel so amazing on freshly-made beds tonight!

I am thankful for the Women's Ministry Team at Grace. It is such a privilege and a blessing to work with Laura and Kerri, two extraordinary young women who encourage and challenge me in my own faith walk.

I am thankful I didn't suffer any serious harm when I took an impressive prat fall down the back steps this morning. (Judith Stormbrook would've been proud of my form - woo-eee!) Thankfully, I bounced down the slippery steps on some rather, ahem, substantial padding.

Thankful for beautiful weather, good health, gorgeous trees, and the wonderful people I am blessed to know.

What about you? What are you thankful for today?

THE PERFECT GIFT

I know a six-year-old whose grandmother gave him a TV for Christmas last year. His very own TV, that he could set up in his room and watch all by himself.

Major. Gift. Fail.

Grandma, were you out of your ever-lovin' mind?

When my children were young, their grandmother came up with more creative gift ideas. One year, it was a family membership to the children's science center in Nashville. Awesome. Another year, it was a family membership to the Memphis zoo. Totally awesome.

With an annual family pass to such facilities, we could pack up a picnic and head out for a day of adventure whenever we needed a break from the routine. And I assure you, every time we loaded back up into a hot van, tired and hungry after a fun day of exploring, we thought, "Thank you, Grandma! You're the best!"

On November 1, right here in rural northwest Tennessee, a world-class museum/entertainment/hands-on educational venue will be opening its doors to the public. I cannot wait to set foot in Discovery Park of America. You can check out their website here. It's kind of hard to believe that we're going to have such an incredible facility, right in our own dirt-road/corn-shuckin'/coon-huntin'/tobacco-spittin' backyard.

So, Grandma, forget the TV. (As a matter of fact, you should tell Little Joey the TV was only good for a year, and that you want it back before this Christmas.) This year, for less than the cost of a television, you can purchase a gift that will stimulate Little Joey's brain and imagination, instead of anesthetizing it. A gift he will enjoy much more, and that will foster more gratitude. A gift that brings with it adventure and exploration and discovery.

This year, why not get Little Joey a membership to a local zoo, or a children's museum, or an art gallery? If you live in Obion County, how about a membership to Discovery Park? While you're at it, get a membership for yourself, too. You'll be giving yourself and Little Joey the key to a treasure chest of wonderful memories.

LAZY DAYS

Steve and I are just back from a couple days of rest at beautiful Maple Hill Bed and Breakfast on Lake Barkley.  We're such exciting holiday travelers....let's see, what all did we do?

We turned off the cell phones and left the laptops behind.  No Facebook, no blog, no headline news.  We slept late, went to bed early, and took afternoon naps.  We read.  We watched a movie.  We worked a crossword.  We lolled around in the swimming pool.  We visited a local winery and enjoyed a mini course in wine tasting.  We lingered long over breakfast each morning and got to know the other guests at the B&B.

We enjoyed a thoroughly lazy, restful, stress-free holiday.  Doing just about nothing for a couple of days:  Awesome.  I highly recommend it.

Today, it's back to the busyness of life in Kendallville.  Except that it's TOO QUIET at my house.  All of my kids are scattered across the mid-south - except for Tom, who is out mowing lawns and weed-eating with Mr. Ferguson today.  Steve is at the office, catching up on phone calls, emails, and appointments.  This morning, it's just me and the cat.

Cat and I have fed and watered the chickens, picked cucumbers, run two loads of laundry, and canned 14 quarts of tomatoes.  I have a writing assignment to complete by this afternoon, and a few phone calls and emails to make.  Later today, I need to mix up a batch of sourdough bread, start a bucket of pickles, and pull up the spent Black-eyed Susans out front.  It is nice to be home and busy about the house, but I sure miss the noise and chatter of my kids.  Is this a sobering snapshot of what to expect in the "empty nest" days ahead?

Several of my birds should be flying back to the roost tomorrow night.  It will be good to have a full table at dinnertime, and to hear about all the exciting things they've done while they were away.

SHARING THE LOVE

Holidays. Family, feasting, laughter, non-stop TV sports.

And the plague.

While all bajillion of us Kendalls were gathered at Grammy's Thursday for the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, one member of the family related how he had just survived a particularly violent case of Montezuma's Revenge. Like just the day before. Wednesday. But he was feeling better now, and thought he could eat a little without having to run to the bathroom.

You've been there, right? That tidbit of news, and suddenly you're afraid to inhale. "Oh, great. Are you still contagious?" you wonder silently. On one hand, you're half-way mad, thinking, "You jerk! If you've been sick, why didn't you stay home today instead of contaminating the rest of us?!" On the other hand, you're sympathetic: "I'm glad you're feeling better now and that you could make it to the party. It wouldn't be the same without you here." Conflicted emotions.

I think because we homeschool, our family has missed exposure to a lot of the bugs that other folks have to deal with. The kids didn't have chronic ear infections or colds or bouts of the flu growing up. A really healthy bunch. We didn't even know about head lice until my oldest was a teenager - picked up a batch of those at a family get-together, too, from the little cousins. Family. Gotta love 'em.

Anyway, Son #1 began bi-valve eruptions last night. Then Dad. This morning, Martha and Tom. The rest of us...we're just waiting our turns. Gonna be a long day.

Tom put it this way: "I feel like a hand grenade with the pin pulled and the lever held down, just waiting to go off."

One day last spring, I was frustrated with my kids for being particularly crabby with each other. Nathaniel commented, "Well, you know how it is. The family that crabs together...is together." Just part of being a family. Guess the same is true for stomach bugs.

It's just another way of sharing the love.

HOLIDAY WEEKEND

How'd you spend Memorial Day weekend? Did you attend a parade or memorial service? Chill by the pool? Grill out with friends? Judging from the folks I checked out at Wal-Mart and from their purchases, most folks in Obion County spent the holiday either fishing or hanging out at the pool. A few tackled projects around the house, like resealing their deck or painting a bathroom. Someone a couple of farms over even fired off a few fireworks that night.

Here at the Kendall house, we just had pretty much a regular weekend. I did get to read Tim Challies's latest book, The Next Story, and write my first-ever book review...that was kind of cool!

Something I've discovered over years of living with lots of kids is that holiday weekends are typically occasions for situations requiring the attention of folks who are out of the office for a three-day weekend. This past Memorial Day was no different. One son developed a fever and a red, nasty looking throat. Another broke his glasses. Something tried to eat the cat. And not only were the doctor's office, the optometrist's, and the vet's closed for the weekend AND for Monday - but I had to work.

Yesterday - Wednesday - was my day off this week. You know what I want to do on my day off? Nothing. At home. But life doesn't stop just because the calendar says you don't have to be on the clock. So yesterday, I made a trip to the bank, then to the optometrist's, and to the vet's. Home for lunch, then back to town. Another trip to the bank (this time, one of my kids had an errand to run), piano lessons (where I fell asleep on Mrs. Linda's sofa), and back home. Dinner, school paperwork...

My holiday weekend didn't feel much like a holiday. My day off didn't feel much like a day off. And summer break isn't feeling much like a break...although it is definitely feeling like summer! It's going to take me a while to adjust to this new routine.

BETTER LATE THAN EARLY

A lady asked me last week, "So, are you all ready for Christmas?" I responded with a blank look, not knowing how to answer.

I know what she meant - Was the house decorated? Was there a turkey in the freezer, waiting to be defrosted? Were the gifts all wrapped and tucked under the tree? And I could have answered all those questions "No!" without hesitation.

But, what if instead she meant, "Are you done with your holiday shopping?" Then, I'd have to answer, "Yes." No, I haven't purchased any gifts. Yes, I'm done with my shopping. You see my dilemma - it's a little difficult to know how to answer.

When Steve took over handling our household finances a couple of years ago, he also took over gift shopping. That first year, I grew increasingly anxious as Christmas approached. Me - I'm the type who likes to make lists, write out shopping routes, and check things off early. Steve, being the more spontaneous type, prefers the adrenalin rush and the thrill of the hunt that comes with a less systematic approach. Anyway, my response to his particular style of Christmas shopping was a growing feeling of dread and panic. Okay, I admit it - I want to be IN CONTROL!

You know what? In spite of my fears and in spite of the fact that I wasn't in control, everything turned out just fine. All my anxiety and stress was for naught. Last year, Christmas #2 under the new system, I think I handled things a teensy bit better - I still felt antsy, but I was definitely less anxious heading into the holidays. And I did feel a whole lot freer, which I think was one of the intents of Steve's shifting these responsibilities in the first place. This year? Truthfully, I feel some butterflies in my stomach...but nothing like a full-blown panic attack.

Anyway, I was at a party last week, and one of the women commented that she liked doing all her Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. The crowds, the hub-bub and chaos, the bustle of running here and there...she loved it. It was one of her favorite days of the year! Wow - I was totally incapable of relating.

So, in closing, what kind of shopper are YOU? Did you have all your Christmas gifts purchased, wrapped, and under the tree by the 1st of December? Or are you planning to sit down tomorrow and start making out your list?

(On another note - I have to believe that my inclination to want to be organized and in control has some useful purpose in the broader scope of things. Any suggestions?!)

TITUS 2-SDAY - O, CHRISTMAS TREE!

Most of you have probably already finished your Christmas decorating. Me...I haven't even started. But, I have helped decorate the church. Do I get points for that?

Each year about this time, we take a Saturday afternoon and hike back on the farm in search of a Christmas tree - a fresh, soft, sweet-smelling cedar. Not too tall, not too big around. The boys cut it down and we hike back to the house with our prize.

Decorating can be a bit hard on the hands. The tree, though fresh and soft, still has scratchy needles. We discovered a couple of years ago that decorating is much more pleasant using this tip: Rub a generous amount of lotion on your hands; then, pull on a pair of snug-fitting rubber gloves (the cheapy kind you can get at Wal-Mart in the cleaning products aisle). The rubber gloves allow you to feel and manipulate small hanging hooks and to handle ornaments without dropping them. Using rubber gloves is especially beneficial when un-decorating, because by then the tree is really dry, stiff, and sticky. Ouch!

You use an artificial tree? I think rubber gloves would still be a great idea. We "fluffed" lots of artificial greenery when decorating the church last week. The work wasn't especially prickly, but my hands were gray with dirt/dust by the end of the evening. I'll remember to take some rubber gloves when it's time to put away the holiday decorations!