It is a difficult thing as a mom - at least it has been for me - to rest.
There is always something else that needs my energy and attention. Laundry, meal preparation, dirty floors, lessons to prepare, school work to grade, flowerbeds to weed, clothes to sort and put back in the attic or tote to Goodwill, cookies to bake, crafts to make, messes to clean...
No matter how much I do, no matter how many hours a day I commit to this mom job, I always - always - go to bed thinking of so much that is still undone and all that will need to be done again tomorrow.
It is the hardest thing in the world, as a mom, to rest.
If you resolve to rest - to just take a break from the never-ending list of still-needs-to-be-done - all those undone things sit right there in front of you, pleading for your attention like small children standing in line at the mechanical pony ride in front of Kroger: "Mom! Mom! It's my turn!"
And while you are trying to rest, trying really hard, you feel guilty. And you feel the pressure of the river of work piling up behind the logjam of your "I just need a couple of minutes to myself!" As you try to rest, to catch your breath, the Mountain of Undone simply continues to grow bigger and bigger right before your eyes.
As a mom, you want to meet your family's needs. Your family expects you to meet their needs - that's what moms do, right? You expect yourself to meet those needs, even if you feel like you simply cannot possibly think of one more creative, economical dinner menu.
It is the hardest thing in the world for Mom to rest.
It is the hardest thing in the world to say "Enough. I can do no more."
Enough? Maybe I'm just being a slacker. Enough? Maybe I'm just being selfish. Enough? Well, if I don't do-this-one-more-thing, who will? It still has to be done!
It is hard to say "Enough" and not feel guilty. Hard to say "Enough" and truly rest. Hard to say "Enough" and believe in your heart-of-hearts that "enough" really is okay.
At least it's hard for this mom, saying "Enough" and believing it.
3 months ago