I OWE IT TO MY NEIGHBOR (TO BE ALL HERE)

Today begins with a confession...

About a month ago, I learned that I have high blood pressure. (I wrote about efforts to make lifestyle changes to help bring the numbers down HERE.) One day last week, for who-knows-what reason, my blood pressure pegged higher than ever. I don't typically get too freaked out by health issues, but last week, I was worried.

My daughter was even more worried: "Mom, this is not good! What are you going to do?!"

Well, right now, I am doing pretty much all that I can. "Look, if I drop dead from a heart attack today, I get to be with Jesus," I replied. "That would be awesome. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"That's great for you, but I will be left here all alone!"

I didn't see how this morbid train of thought was going to make either of us feel any less anxious. "Okay, then...I will try my best to hang in here 'til your sister gets home. Then, if I die, you can live with her."

I know that if anything happens to me, God will take care of my children. But to respond so flippantly to my daughter's fears? What is wrong with me, people?!

Moving forward now...

That night, I lay awake thinking about our conversation. I thought about how I am sometimes so cavalier with my words. I thought about how all of us have fears and struggles, and about how all of us are in different places in this faith walk.

I thought about the great paradox: how a person can be so mature in some ways, such a baby in other ways.

I thought about the sovereignty and the goodness and the faithfulness of God. I thought how grateful I am that God exposes my sin, and how thankful I am that God is patient and forgiving with his foolish child.

I thought how thankful I am that my daughter is patient and forgiving, too.

And then I started thinking: What do I owe my neighbor? Particularly, my neighbor who is my young daughter?

Well, because I am her mom and she is my daughter, I owe this sweet neighbor a lot of things! But, on the heels of the above conversation, I thought of three particular duties I owe my neighbor...

I owe it to my neighbor:

To show up for life, and to live like I mean it. To endeavor to live the life God has given me in a healthy, vigorous, thoughtful, engaged manner alongside my neighbor. To live without fear of death, but, also, to NOT be flippant about checking out early.

To live a life of integrity and authenticity. To be consistent in who I am, wherever I am, i.e., to not be one person to my daughter, a different person to my best girlfriend, someone else to the group I address at next weekend's conference, Camille #17 to the stranger at Walmart, and yet another version of myself inside my head.

To share something of the loveliness of Christ in my attitudes, words, and actions. I need Jesus like parched ground needs water. My neighbor - my daughter - needs Jesus, too. My thoughts, words, and actions need to drip with the life-giving water of the Gospel.

You know something I never see Jesus do in Scripture? I don't once see him being cavalier or flippant. Jesus, while He walked on this earth, took life very seriously. He took other people seriously, too. Best I can tell from reading Scripture, He still does.

Jesus, help me to be that kind of neighbor.

One of my favorite neighbors - I LOVE this gal!

* * *

"Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." - Jim Elliot, martyr  for Christ