NURSING SCHOOL, PART 8 (HE DID IT AGAIN...)

He did it again.

He met me in a dark valley - got there before I did - and He was holding a light.

It was incredibly hard and I ended the term exhausted, but I truly enjoyed my first semester of school. My teachers were excellent; the material we covered was interesting; and I enjoyed meeting new people and making new friends.

However, it has been very nice the past couple of weeks to NOT: get up before 5:00 every morning; stay up late reviewing Micro and Zoology notes; stress over math homework and lab quizzes; juggle work and school and all the things I should be doing at home.

The dark circles under my eyes are gone. The knotted cables in my shoulders and neck have relaxed. Ahhhhh....

But...

A tremendous obstacle looms like Mount Doom between me and nursing classes in the fall: Anatomy & Physiology 2.

A&P1 in four months felt like a runaway train, from the first day of class until the last. I cannot imagine an entire semester's worth of A&P2 crammed into four weeks.

While I have been catching up on sleep and household chores, I have been trying very hard to NOT think about the approach of June and A&P2. Like hearing footsteps behind you in a dark alley, and they're getting closer, and you know you can't outrun whatever-it-is but you're too terrified to look over you shoulder. Or, like the frightened child who thinks that if he closes his eyes, because he can't see the bogey, the bogey isn't really there.

Yeah, that's kinda how I've been feeling.

But God reminded me again this week that I did not initiate this nursing-school journey - HE did - and He is perfectly capable of finishing what He has purposed for me. I don't have to be afraid of the bogey.

Last weekend, I looked at the calendar and realized that A&P2 is only two weeks away. My stomach knotted. Those familiar steel cables tensed across my shoulders and up my neck. "How on earth am I ever going to get through this?" I thought. "There's no way! I must be out of my ever-loving mind." And then the questioning: "God, is this really what you want me to do? Are you sure?!"

I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in months on Monday morning. She had no idea doubt and anxiety had the upper hand in my mind that morning, that I was second-guessing this whole going-back-to-school thing.

"It's so good to see you!" We chatted a few minutes, then my friend smiled and said, "I am so proud of you for going back to school, Camille. You're going to do great. Hang in there, girl...you've got this!"

And there was an encouraging note from my step-mom, tacked onto the end of an short email about an upcoming family dinner.

And an impromptu visit from my sister and nephew, who live three hours away. And not just a visit, but they actually brought me a car. Yes, you read that correctly: my brother-in-law sent me wheels for getting back and forth to campus.

And then, when I mentioned an expensive piece of technology I needed class, complaining that professors are sometimes insensitive to the financial situations of many students, another friend volunteered: "Oh! I have one of those! You can borrow mine!"

Last week, I was in a dark place, wondering why on earth I was doing this whole school thing, thinking maybe I had misunderstood and that I should throw in the towel.

This week, I am confident God has me exactly where He wants me.

He met me with a light - multiple lights - and said to me: "This way, my child..."

God got me through spring semester; He can get me through A&P2 in June.