WHAT DOES MY HISTORY TELL ABOUT ME?

Taking advantage of a wait in the drive-thru line at McDonald's this afternoon, I pulled out my phone and began deleting old messages. It was a long wait, so I started cleaning out the "recent calls" log. You know what? This girl makes waaaaay too many phone calls to pharmacies and funeral homes. It occurred to me that simply by looking at my call history, just about any Joe could figure out I'm a hospice nurse.

And this got me thinking about other "histories," lists that quietly say something about who I am, what I do, and even hint at my dreams.

Lists like my checkbook register...

When I entered this purchase in my account register today, I scrolled up through previous entries to read the tale they told. Gas, gas, gas. Tithe. Groceries. Gas. Lawn man, housekeeper, and caregiver for Mom. Gas, gas, gas. Caregiver, ministry. Gas, gas.

I spend a LOT of money on gas...goes with the Home Health gig.

After catching up on my little bit of bookkeeping for the day, I checked my email.

Wanna guess what secrets my email tells? I buy groceries at Kroger. I am a writer. I have a nephew in Rwanda who grows coffee. I see a therapist. (Goes with the hospice gig...and with being the primary caregiver for my Mom.) I like the beach and am planning another family holiday for next summer.

Scrolling through recent pictures on my phone, you would have to conclude that I am besotted with my grandkids. You'd be correct.

But not ALL these histories paint an accurate picture of who I am, what I do, and what I value.

For example, my spam box is often filled with messages about bizarre topics such as how to get rid of dark spots and treat bunions. Or messages about penis growth. (Public Service Announcement, Spammers: I do NOT have a penis, nor do I want to grow one.) Or about how I can meet a Romanian, Asian, or Latino cutie who is looking for a man. (See previous PSA. And, seriously, this is just plain sick.)

I guess one truth these inappropriate Spam messages do communicate is that I am old. Apparently, when a person gets old (as in, over 50), the most pressing concerns they have are hair loss, foot fungus, and erectile dysfunction. Lord, help us all.

So, what about you? If someone browsed your recent calls, emails, texts, photos, bank statements, etc., what tales would your "history" tell about you?