Friday, August 31, 2012


Okay, I've had more than I can stand.  Brace yourself - major venting ahead!

Can somebody please tell me why every single day I have multiple messages in my email inbox - messages obviously targeted to men - from people or pharmaceutical companies that want to sell me products guaranteed to enhance my mojo?

This isn't the first time I've complained about this phenomenon.  Check out What's in My Inbox.  Obviously, there is a huge market for these products - thus the mass emails to the Junk boxes of middle-aged women.  Obviously, then, there are a lot of men in the world who feel, um, shall we say, a little less than adequate.  Who feel like they've lost their Voom!  A lot of men, perhaps, who find that their lady loves are not as enraptured with them as in days gone by.  A lot of men who would reallyreallyreally like to have a magic pill or potion that could transform them into super hotties.

Okay, I've got that.

But now, let me tell you what I think would be really neat to see in my Inbox:

From: Dr. Libido
Subject:  How to talk to and really listen to your wife

From:  Dr. Phallon
Subject:  Praying with your woman - the secret to great sex

From:  High Performance Pharmaceuticals
Subject:  God designed marriage and intimacy - We have His study notes!

From:  Erica Golightly
Subject:  Why work so hard for the real deal when I've got a whole box of shrink-wrapped Twinkies sitting right here on the shelf?!  You don't really want great sex - You want a cheap imitation.  Message me!

Okay, I'm just saying, if there really are a plethora of men out there in the world who are less-than-satisfied with the state of their love lives, I think it might be more helpful for them to actually begin the work of building intimate relationships with their wives than for them to be clicking on links to Cheap Pills!  and Local Hotties!  I'm pretty sure they'd get better results - both in the bedroom and out of it.

I realize I don't have many male readers, but, if you are a man and you don't mind strong language,check out Men and Marriage over at Mars Hill Church.  Good stuff - but, ouch!  I'm working up my courage to listen to Marriage and Women later today.  Pray for me.

As for all my lady readers, here's a question for you:  If you were a company sending a mass email to all the sexually frustrated men in the world, what would be in the subject line?


Anonymous said...

That's my girl. Love you. Dad

Suzanne said...

Here is my theory:
The pills are a hit simply because there is so much immodest visual stimulation accosting men's eyes these days that they have developed a gross insensitivity to avoid embarrassing moments of arousal in public places. This forced insensitivity spills over into their bedrooms...ergo, the need for magic pills to sustain them in time of need.

Forget treatment of the symptoms and go straight for the cure.

Here is my simple 2 step cure:
1. Men, learn to keep custody of your senses and avoid looking at women besides your wife from the neck down.
2. Women, dress modestly at all times in public saving your allurements for intimate moments with your beloved husband.

Simple, Christian, effective, satisfying, and FREE.

troal said...

I think Suzanne is really close. But how about this? Guys who avail themselves of visual stimuli may have lost the appreciation for the "wife of their youth." Also I think the wear and tear of marriage (it CAN be a battle, you know) can have as deep-seated effect on guys as it does gals. Question: How many times have you heard a lady utter these words-- "I got so I coulodn't stand for him to touch me" ? Goes back to Camille's remark about being sensitive to your spouse's needs. That's right ladies; guys got emotional needs too!!! We have layers!!!

Mary Conner said...

Heh heh heh, troal..."like ogres". My subject line would be: from A Local Hottie. Subject: Wanna know my secret turn-on? Self-motivated acts of no immediate personal benefit!