SKIN TIGHT

"I feel so angry, and so hurt, and so very sad right now. How is it even possible to have so many big emotions, all jumbled up inside of me at the same time?!"

I don't know how it is possible, sweet sister, but I do know that it is. I know that some people are bigger on the inside than they are on the outside. That wrapped within modest packages of skin and good manners, whole worlds lie hidden, teeming with life, kingdoms in uneasy alliance, creation, festival, adventure.

The four Pevensie children stepped through the door of a rather ordinary wardrobe and discovered a forest, then a country, then many countries, a whole new world of wonders, and eventually, a land without end. They found eternity.

So it is with some people. Some people are bigger on the inside than they look on the outside.

"I'm really very simple. With me, what you see is what you get."

I don't know how this is even possible, but I do know that it is. Some people are so not complicated. Their inner worlds are like cafeteria trays, with little compartments that keep everything nice and tidy: no applesauce bleeding into the mashed potatoes, no juice from the green beans sogging the bread. When asked how they are doing, they answer quickly and easily - "I'm fine" - and they actually sincerely mean what they say.

So it is with some people. Some people are exactly the same size on the inside as they are on the outside. What you see really is what you get.

Since that terrible day that our first parents decided "I will be god" - and thus, necessarily, that you must be less than, since I, being god, am now the standard - since that day, an awful tension has existed between those whose skins fit them well and those whose skins barely contain the worlds roiling beneath. We look at each other as...well...as less than:

"You are so shallow."
"You are too complicated."

"Do you ever really think at all?"
"You think too much."

"You say, 'I'm fine.' What does that even mean?"
"I can't deal with all your emotions. They are too confusing."

I confess that, as one whose inner world stretches out of sight of even my own eyes - in fifty-three years, I have only begun to map the nearer coastlines and contours - I have often felt that something was "wrong" with me. What  is wrong with me that inclines me to puzzle over seemingly-simple questions, that draws my mind's eye to a horizon others do not see, that marries so many conflicting emotions into one tumultuous dance?

This skin is so tight! I have looked with envy at those whose skins fit their inner worlds like tailored suits.

But I am learning...

God made both kinds of people. He delights in both. He uses both for kingdom work.

Does your skin feel tight, like worlds inside strain against the buttons? Or does your skin fit just right? How cool that God made us both imago dei!