HOW DO YOU COOL OFF IN THE BOONDOCKS?

No swimming pool? No water park? No Hawaiian shaved ice or frappuccinos? How do you keep cool on hot days when you live in the boondocks?

1. Take a dip in the pond. Send the dogs in first, to flush out any turtles and snakes. However, my kids tell me even the pondwater is a bit balmy after the recent heatwave.

2. Take a dip in the creek - the creek is cooler than the pond and it's shady. Again, watch out for snakes, and don't think too much about the fact that the cows are also bathing, just upstream.

3. Drink lots of cold beverages - smoothies, iced tea, lemonade. There's not much better than swaying in the porch swing, sipping a frosty margarita on a warm summer evening.

4. Frozen treats! Freeze pops, popsicles, ice cream...summertime is "open season" on these items at our house. No permission needed, no set limit - help yourself any time you want.

5. Wash the car with a sibling. Things always get crazy - and cooler - when a water hose is involved!

6. Pick blackberries in the middle of the afternoon. I guarantee the house will feel cool, even with the thermostat set on 78, by the time you return with a gallon bucket full of berries.

7. Take a cold shower - so you don't end up with lots of chiggers after picking all those blackberries.

8. Sit. Very. Still. And don't breathe too much.

9. If all else fails, you can drive up the highway to town and walk around Wal-Mart for half an hour. Your friends and neighbors will be there cooling off, too!