Some folks think they need a Passport and a plane ticket in order to experience a foreign culture. "Exotic" is a place half-way around the world, right? Wrong. Bizarre customs, an ear-baffling language, food made from what?!, distinctive tribal dress - these are all much closer than you think. In fact, I found exotic when we moved back to my hometown. Where do I live? Why, in the Boondocks, where...
1. ...the highschool dress code initially proposed by the school board had to be ammended to allow students to wear camouflage clothing. Otherwise, 80% of the parents in the county would have to go out and buy new winter coats for their kids.
2. ...surrounding communities have names like Frog Level, Possum Trot, Booger Den Hollow, and Cat Corner. (Yep, folks, they're on the map.)
3. ...you are late getting to an appointment because you get stuck behind a pick-up truck doing 35 miles per hour down the highway. And in the bed of the pick-up truck stands a cow, nonchalantly taking in the scenery.
4. ...you pull off the highway to pick up a dead raccoon that wasn't there an hour ago when you passed that spot on your way out. Hey, it's fresh, right? - and that pelt is worth some money.
5. ...the hit of the lodgehall dinner is Danny's barbequed bologna. Mmm, mmm - that's good eating!
6. ...the highschool boys hanging out in front of the BestWay store almost miss the hot honey in the tight t-shirt and cut-off shorts because they are all drooling over Ted's uncle's Ford F-250 super-duty, turbo-diesel, extended-cab pickup with all-terrain tires and a brush guard. Man, now THAT'S a truck!
7. ...you drive up to your neighbor's house, and a young cow squeezes out from under the front porch and trots over to your car.
8. ...almost any social gathering is occasion for a bonfire.
9. ...the bride's parents serve country ham, scrambled eggs, and cheese grits at the wedding reception.
10. ...everyone in the county is a relative, or an ex-relative, or a soon-to-be relative, or a step-relative. It's getting to the point where we need to import some new blood, because we're all related - how's a girl supposed to find a husband?!
After years of living out in the big wide world, I am learning to love the adventure of life back in my hometown. Welcome to the Boondocks!
1 month ago