"Who are you when no one is looking?"
I have heard this is a good question for identifying who you really are, as opposed to who you think you are.
I have a friend who likes the idea of children, but who cannot tolerate being in the midst of a bunch of littles for more than a few minutes. "Kids are so messy!" "Children are always making noise!" "Can't someone make these kids be still?!" Kids - the reality - stress her out. My friend says she enjoys children; I think she genuinely wants to enjoy children; but, ummmm, nope...she's just not there yet.
I say I want to be thinner. Absolutely. But when it comes down to having to choose between "thinner" and a plateful of Helen's chocolate chip cookies, I choose the cookies almost every time. The idea of "thin" appeals to me, but not the reality. Honestly, if I never had to worry that anyone was looking at me with an eye to my size, I would be quite content with chubby.
I mopped the downstairs floors today. I love the feel of freshly-mopped floors beneath bare feet. If I was a hermit living all alone in the hills and no other human ever saw my floors, I would still mop my floors. I don't particularly enjoy mopping, but I love clean floors!
And I have figured out: I love writing. I am antsy to get busy on my next manuscript. I have my story idea sketched out and the first three chapters written, but it will be a couple of weeks before I can begin work on this story in earnest. I feel like a school kid sitting through an interminable math class, listening to the big clock above the bulletin board: tick, tick, tick, tick...will the bell for recess never ring?!
Who am I when no one is looking? Well, for starters, I am a chubby woman who likes chocolate chip cookies and clean hardwood floors. And I love writing.
Who are YOU when no one is looking?
4 weeks ago