2013 promises to be a good year for the Kendall family. A busy year. A year of great and exciting changes.
I wake up kind of slowly, and I usually begin the morning lying very still in bed, with my eyes closed, praying about and thinking through the business of the day ahead. But a few mornings ago, I woke up on the brink of a panic attack. What was on my mind this particular morning, causing the adrenaline to begin pumping before my feet even hit the floor?
Preparation for a new study with the Women in the Church. Working out details for our little church's first-ever women's retreat. A new series of articles for the weekly Soli Deo Gloria column. Spring semester; paying for college classes, and figuring out our "bus schedule" for the commuters; lesson plans for the home crowd; upcoming graduation for two high-school seniors. A new grandbaby - only four more weeks!!! Kids going every which way - one applying for out-of-town work during summer break between classes; two applying for internships on the other side of the world; one thinking seriously about boot camp... The list was long and full of good things - but so many "big" things that my head was spinning!
I tend to be a fearful person. Prone to anxiousness. Although I've loosened up a lot over the years, the transition from being In Control to daily dancing the limbo has not been easy. Yes, I sometimes find myself tightening up. Stiffening fearfully, like someone bracing herself in anticipation of a cold, hard wave crashing against the seashore.
In my last post, I wrote about the importance of regularly reading the Bible. Now, if I truly believe that the Bible is God's written Word - His holy, inerrant, infallible, living Word to me - then reading it will be a very high priority. Furthermore, if I truly believe that the Bible is indeed the word of the Lord and Creator of all things, then I will take it very seriously. My thinking and my behavior, exposed to the living Word of God, will of necessity be radically challenged and transformed.
When I read that God - who created me and who has the power of life and death over me - hates adultery, I can no longer be comfortable sleeping with my boyfriend or chatting with my girlfriends about some Hollywood hunk's great packaging. When I read that God created man in His image - so that even the nastiest, basest human in some way communicates something of the glory of the Creator - I can no longer dismiss or belittle people who look or smell different from me, or who speak another language, or who worship differently, or who offend me with their political views.
Likewise, when I read in Scripture - over and over and over, from Genesis to Revelation - that God is sovereign, that He is good, that He loves, redeems, preserves, and sanctifies me, then I can no longer nurse and coddle my anxious thoughts.
I am so thankful that God wrote down in Scripture how very much He loves me, that He reminds me often that He is sovereign over every detail of my life, that He proves repeatedly that He is good and that I can trust Him. I am glad He wrote all this down where I can read it every single day - because I need to be reminded, every single day, lest I forget and grow fearful.
"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7
Thank you, Lord, for Your written Word. Thank you for the new life that is mine in Christ. Help me, Lord, to live what I believe. I believe; help my unbelief!
3 days ago