After a month off during Christmas break, I am trying to get back into the swimming routine. Before the holidays, I was up to a strong, steady mile. I had even upped my forward crawl to ten straight laps. When I finally got back in the pool last week, twenty laps seemed a reasonable goal. But even though I swam slowly, I was whupped when I finally climbed out of the water!
We still haven't quite figured out the commute/car pool schedule for spring semester, but it looks like I will probably be able to manage a swim most Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Awesome! Today, however, I will not be swimming. We batted around a couple of plans over breakfast, and, due to the weather and a class cancellation, I decided to stay home. Not an easy decision to make, because I really want to swim...and because I know how easy it is to not do the right thing, and then to slip in a habit of continually not doing the right thing.
Since I could not exercise at the pool today, I sat down at the computer and chomped through a package of pop-tarts instead. In my book, Pop-tarts are the equivalent of low-class cookies, not even really a food product. I had already eaten breakfast: I was not hungry. Honestly, I ate the Pop-tarts without even thinking. Then, when I brushed away the last crumbs, I wondered stupidly, "Now, why did I do that?"
Which brings me to the reason for this post. Why is it that doing a good thing, the right thing, is so difficult, while doing a foolish or silly or bad thing is so very easy? To swim laps, I have to argue with myself, grit my teeth, push myself out the door - even though I like swimming. But to eat a bland, sugary Pop-tart, something I don't even really like? I can do that without a thought.
To read my Bible this morning, I have to set the alarm. I have to brew a pot of coffee, and turn off the phone and the computer. But to blow 30 minutes on Facebook? Happens in the blink of an eye, before I even realize that I've burned the chili I was cooking for dinner.
Why is it so easy to watch a movie with my mind in neutral, and come away with nothing more than, "That was a fun flick" - instead of engaging and critically considering the underlying message, the worldview promoted? Why is it that I can sing every word to a blasphemous country song, but remember so few lines from the truly great hymns?
Yeah, I know why - because I am fallen, sinful, broken. My natural tendency is toward sin and compromise with the flesh. Total depravity - not as bad as I could be, but bad in every part. Corrupt in every fiber.
I hear there are some folks who deny the doctrine of total depravity. Obviously, they're a few Pop-tarts short of a full box.
3 months ago